Spider-Man: Far From Home

RATING: C

I would've been totally fine with it if the Marvel Cinematic Universe had ended with Avengers: Endgame. But because there is money to be made, we're gonna keep going and milk this cash cow for all it's worth... until they inevitably screw up and make everyone hate them. Based on their success rate, that may not happen for a while, so we're still on this ride for the foreseeable future.

While there are some future MCU films that interest me--such as Thor traveling with the Guardians of the Galaxy--another Spider-Man film isn't really one of them. While some folks have already gotten Marvel fatigue, I seem to only have Spider-Man fatigue. But then again, that cycle's been going on a lot longer. Three separate castings, plus that Spider-Verse thing.

This new installment takes place some time after Endgame. And quite frankly, the film dealing with some of the ramifications of Endgame is arguably the most interesting part of this. They even manage to work a darkly hilarious moment into all of that. But we're not going to spend too much time there, because this is a Spider-Man movie.

Peter Parker is about to go on a summer field trip vacation with his class to Europe, and he's hoping to use some of that time to confess his feelings to MJ (or rather, the girl who shares MJ's name from the comics). Unfortunately, there's someone else who's interested to which quickly makes for some cliched embarrassing moments. And which makes me annoyed pretty early on. But hey, their trip just so happens to coincide with the attack of the Elementals--monsters made up of earth, water, fire, and air--and the appearance of Mysterio to fight them. Wait, they're trying to convince us Mysterio is a good guy in this? They know that the majority of the audience either read the comics or is semi-familiar with the lore enough to know about one of the members of the Sinister Six, right? 

So to recap that last paragraph... this movie's plot is mostly shockingly uninteresting. The big draw here is supposed to be Mysterio and the twist surrounding him, but it doesn't work. For one thing, most people already know who he actually is. (Though they do give him a different origin story this time, which does prove to be interesting.) Another problem is that much of his plan hinges on a shockingly dumb decision by Peter. But Mysterio is just not one of the better Spider-Man villains to begin with. His big thing is large elaborate illusions and trapping people in them. And one of the signature scenes is supposed to be when Spidey gets trapped in one of those illusions, but instead it's just tiring.

What does work about this movie, then? Well, it is still pretty amusing at times. A lot of the performances are good; despite the problems with Mysterio, Jake Gyllenhaal plays him well. Samuel L. Jackson is also good, per the usual. Both the character of MJ and Zendaya's performance seem better this time as well. And some of the action is good; the scene with the fire elemental is probably the standout. The final act is okay, if unremarkable.

Actually, that "unremarkable" word might apply to this whole movie. Aside from the issues with Mysterio, little about this movie is downright bad. But little about it particularly stands out either--aside from the two credits scenes, of all things. And it's just hard to get invested in this. Because as a Spider-Man movie, it's just another Spider-Man movie and a pretty forgettable one at that. As an MCU movie, it seems fairly pointless. On both counts, it doesn't really offer much new or interesting to justify its existence.

At the end of the day, this is the worst MCU movie thus far. It's an unfortunate way to kick off the post-Endgame era. But then again, Marvel doesn't seem to be in a huge hurry to kick off the next story arc; the next movie (Black Widow) is a prequel. So I guess until they get the new storyline going (probably with The Eternals), this MCU installment and the next one are just going to be riding the coattails of their predecessors.

X-Men: Dark Phoenix

RATING: C-

The argument could be made that the X-Men franchise should've ended with "Logan." It makes sense; after all, the entire series has mostly been a character arc for Wolverine (aside from First Class and Apocalypse--and even then, he had cameos in those). That movie concluded his story, and given that there didn't seem to be plans to go back to the older X-Men cast again after Days of Future Past--or to properly explain what happened before then in the new timeline--this series had basically run its course anyway.

Still, Fox was pressing forward with the younger X-Men anyway. And their next step? Retrying the Dark Phoenix saga, which X-Men: The Last Stand didn't handle the best. And while it sounds like at one time this movie was more close to getting it right... it got screwed both by meddling from Fox higher-ups and also by fate. Because then Disney bought Fox. And it became pretty clear quickly that Dark Phoenix would've been cancelled if it hadn't already been too far along in production to stop (and Marvel eventually did confirm this version of the X-Men series was ending).

So essentially what we get here is a lame duck entry movie--which is a kind of bizarre thing. This is a movie that once upon a time may have had a reason to exist--but now it has no reason, because this series was declared over before it even came out. And Dark Phoenix wasn't even supposed to be the end, and it shows.

But the fact remains that this movie isn't that good even on its own terms. While we don't have the extra subplots of a mutant cure to contend with this time, the Phoenix story is in essence still the same; and while Jean's backstory is done differently, things otherwise aren't really done any better. The Phoenix power is still held back a bit much here--until the very end, when we finally do see the proper extent of it... for about three minutes. And then the movie's over, basically. So I guess in a sense, they did get marginally closer to doing the Phoenix story right this time. But the problem is that this movie still is not good. And while The Last Stand had its share of problems, it was still at least generally enjoyable.

Part of it's the writing. There are some poor bits of dialogue here, but some characters just seem to be written differently. Mystique is suddenly telling Professor X "you're wrong" again... a lot. And Professor X's actions in meddling with Jean's mind to prevent disaster prior to this movie are ridiculously vilified. It's understandable as to why other characters wouldn't be happy about his actions, but it gets taken to insane levels here. And it doesn't make much sense, because Professor X's actions here arguably make *more* sense than in The Last Stand--and yet the fact that he's "completely wrong" here is a huge plot point and is barely up for debate somehow.

But another big problem is the villain. This can also be blamed in part on the troubled production; originally Jessica Chastain was going to be playing Lilandra, then a Skrull leader (then I guess they found out Captain Marvel was using them), and then for a while even she didn't know who she was playing. But they settled on Vuk and the D'Bari aliens -- which are basically discount Skrulls. I liked Chastain in Interstellar, but she plays Vuk way too monotonously here. Not to mention the fact that she starts off trying to manipulate Jean/Phoenix--by spouting empowering-related cliches repeatedly, most of which don't make much sense either in context. And while the D'Bari turns out to be a powerful bunch, they're also very forgettable and don't do much to stand out. 

It's a shame the way the movie turns out, because it's not like it's without good moments. It actually starts off pretty promisingly with an opening action scene that takes in space that is actually really well done and makes use of each mutant's ability. After that... not much else that's particularly interesting, aside from the ending train scene, which does feature some cool moments--such as younger Nightcrawler getting to shine. Quicksilver doesn't really get much to do after the opening this time, unfortunately.

What's also of note is the music. Hans Zimmer does it this time, and despite the movie being arguably the weakest entry and certainly the most meaningless in the series, he ends up giving this movie the franchise's best soundtrack ever. If only it hadn't practically gone to waste on a movie that no one really cared about.

The acting is also worth discussing; despite the prolific cast, it's pretty hit-or-miss. Some actors/actresses seem to be phoning it in; a lot of that probably comes from the reshoots, at which point everyone knew that this was a lame duck entry. What's surprising is seeing James McAvoy phoning it in. As a matter of fact, Michael Fassbender and Nicholas Hoult are two of the only ones who look like they are taking this fully seriously (and Sophie Turner herself).

Dark Phoenix isn't quite as awful as it's been made out to be. But it's still definitely a mess, and probably the worst X-Men entry (though Origins: Wolverine isn't far off). And it's quite a shame things had to end this way. It doesn't make me feel better that this franchise will later be rebooted with new castings all over again by Marvel--if anything, it makes me feel worse. While this film might not be the biggest waste of time, it's still difficult to recommend to anyone due to its meaninglessness. My advice is to just pretend this franchise ended with Logan. Or Days of Future Past, if that works better for you.

The Secret Life of Pets 2

RATING: C

The first Secret Life of Pets movie was a fun enough movie, even if it was heavily derivative of other computer animated movies. Still, it had a likable enough premise centering around what our pets do when we're not around. Regardless of what you thought of the movie, it made a lot of money... so therefore a sequel was inevitable.

This movie basically takes three subplots and eventually awkwardly strings them together for the climactic act. For one, Max and Duke's owner Katie gets married and has a kid, thus introducing another new element into their lives; and then they take a trip to a farm, where Max meets a new dog named Rooster (Harrison Ford), and Max will have to learn to stop being so fearful... because apparently he is. Maybe I've forgotten it from the last movie, but I don't remember him being almost like Marlin from Finding Nemo in terms of being scared of the real world; instead, he more resembled Woody from Toy Story in that he only feared being replaced. (Man, these folks just can't stop ripping off Pixar, can they?) 

Elsewhere, Gidget the tiny dog has to rescue Max's favorite chew toy from a house chock-full of cats... and this is where those scenes of "learning how to become a cat" from the trailers come in. And in our third subplot, Snowball the bunny fancies himself as some kind of superhero now. Yup, that's a thing. And as previously stated, all three of these subplots will be driven together somehow in the final act. It's an odd case of attempting too much, but at the same time not really doing anything remarkable.

The bottom line is this sequel is not as good as its predecessor, which is unlikely to be a surprise. Neither of the two movies are overly remarkable, but this one is more oddly written because of the way the "plot" is structured. And while Gidget's subplot is generally fun and amusing (as is Jenny Slate's voice acting for her), both Max and Snowball take a step back in this one. As previously stated, Max's character seems to be a little different in this one. And while it was to be expected that Snowball would be different in this one, the direction it goes is just the wrong kind of silly. Save for when he fights an evil circus monkey near the end, though--that part's fun. Harrison Ford's Rooster is decent enough as a mentor, but feels oddly underused--he's not there for the final act, anyway.

Still, for all the faults this movie has, there is a little fun to be had. There are still a handful of hilarious moments surrounding the pets, such as when Chloe the cat tries to wake up her owner. These guys seem to have a grip on the way animals behave that is realistic enough for the setting they're trying to create, but still with a little embellishment for a cartoon. In both movies, we do see the kind of behavior that we'd expect from some dogs and cats--and what they might say if they could talk.

What you think about this movie will probably depend on what you thought of the first one. If you disliked the first one for being a silly cartoon being derivative of better cartoons, give this a wide berth. If you enjoyed the first for what it was, maybe give this a go but with tempered expectations. Animal lovers are really the audience that is likely to get the most out of this--so long as they're not cynical cinema viewers as well. Ultimately for this viewer it's a passable but also forgettable 90 minutes. Hopefully this will be the last we hear from this franchise, because Illumination in general has proven that they are not good at sequels.