Goosebumps

RATING: B

I never bothered to read the Goosebumps series; for one, I've never been into the horror genre in any way; even when I was younger, I was never interested in the whole thing. Secondly, there's *so many of them.* Apparently there's about 180 of those books? Jeez. So it was partially by accident that I even became mildly interested in watching this movie in the first place. Unless I had randomly seen a trailer of it, I wouldn't have cared when I found out it was coming out. 

As best as I can tell, this actually isn't based off a particular book in the series or even multiple books; it's more or less just based off the various monsters. And other creatures. And, um, the author himself. Fictionalized for the movie. Yup, you read that right. In a clever move, we end up getting R.L. Stine himself as a character (played by Jack Black in one of his better performances). 

The plot of this movie revolves around when some kid named Zach (played by an actor I was stunned to find was not Logan Lerman--must've been his twin he never knew about) moves next door to the reclusive Stine and his much less reclusive daughter Hannah. Through a series of misunderstandings and circumstances, Zach and his idiot new "friend" Champ end up breaking into Stine's house where they find a bunch of Goosebumps manuscripts. Locked. And Zach decides to unlock one of them. 

And lo and behold, out comes the Abominable Snowman of Pasadena (well, that's what they call him in the actual book he came from, anyway). Because the creatures that Stine wrote about can actually become real (although *how,* exactly, is never really explained--aside from some apparently magical typewriter). And then a bunch of other creatures get released accidentally. And so on. And now Stine, Zach, and Hannah have to capture these creatures and put them back into the books before they lay waste to their hometown--Gremlins & Jumanji style. 

I have to admit, I wasn't expecting too much out of this movie, but I was surprisingly entertained most of the way through it. The events that set the movie in motion are admittedly rather dumb, and to be fair, it's not a movie that you can take too seriously. Thankfully, you're allowed to figure that out fairly quick--considering that when the first monster (the Snowman) appears, he doesn't rampage first--he investigates his surroundings first like a lost dog. Amusingly. But it's actually pretty decent entertainment all around for the most part. We're actually given a couple of clever plot twists (one of which is impossible to see coming), and Jack Black's performance is *brilliant* (even if no one else's is). Probably the actual worst thing about this film is the male sidekick "Champ," whom I guess was supposed to be comic relief because of his idiocy and social ineptness. Guess what? It wasn't funny. It was annoying. 

The often tongue-in-cheek-ness of the film actually allows for an almost throwback-to-the-80's feel at times, while still keeping a clear 2010's flavor--something that actually works for them. That said, the film does feel ever-so-slightly ridiculous every now and then. And there are a couple plot points that make little sense (I guess you have to read the books). It's not a classic, but it's fun enough that it makes for pretty good family viewing. I've never read the books, nor do I still wish to. But this movie is good enough to stand on its own merits. 

Minions

RATING: D-

Hey, remember those two Despicable Me movies we all loved? Well, guess what? They made a spin-off film about the hilarious sidekicks in the background. A prequel, actually. About the Minions and their desire to serve an evil master, and where that takes them; particularly in the late 1960's. 

Specifically, this movie focuses on the Minions and their history of accidentally killing their evil masters (by the way, this flick contains one of the highest body counts I've ever seen in an animated film, even if almost all of the deaths are humorous). During a dark time for them in the 1960s where they are stuck in an ice cave with no purpose, three minions--Kevin, Stuart and Bob--volunteer to go and find a new master for them again. And they just happen to stumble upon an event called "Villain-Con" where they end up becoming servants to Scarlet Overkill; a control freak of a villain who has very specific goals (taking over England). 

For a film about normally hilarious sidekicks, this is actually a stunningly dumb film. There's very little plot, and a lot of it makes little sense (example: Scarlet ultimately turning on the Minions for no reason even when they actually get her the thing she wants). The humor is mostly incredibly cheesy, cheap or cringeworthy at times. In fact, ironically, most of the few actually humorous moments in the movie *don't* directly involve the Minions; namely, when Scarlet declares to a crowd of villains, "We have one thing that makes us all equal!" and a weird fish creature randomly yells, "We were all born with flippers! ... No? Just me?" 

What's sad--aside from the shocking lack of actually good humor involving the Minions--is how much time we spend around the annoying villain Scarlet; especially considering that young Gru himself actually shows up near the end (and pretty awesomely too), making you wonder why this movie wasn't actually about young Gru and the minions instead--which would've probably ultimately turned out better. 

When it's all said and done, this is actually one of the more stupid animated films I've seen recently; lacking plot or humor, this movie has almost nothing in its favor. Sure, it has the minions; but they're ultimately just victims of a cash-grab film that gives little thought to the film itself. The younger ones might like it, but pity the adults and anyone else who is forced to sit through it. Hopefully they'll be able to convince the kids to watch either of the two superior Despicable Me movies instead. 

The 5th Wave

RATING: D+

One of the more recent trend surges in film has been the book-to-movie adaptions of various young adult series; most of them dystopian, with Hunger Games, Maze Runner and Divergent leading the way. This one, however, could hardly be considered dystopian at all; if anything, it's a little more like I Am Number Four in that it's a young adult series about aliens, even if the plots are quite different. Unfortunately, just like that other series, the film adaptions might be doomed to defeat after the first one. 

The 5th Wave revolves around a group of aliens that attack Earth via different "waves" or styles of attack in order to exterminate the humans. The first wave? Worldwide EMP. The second wave? Literal waves. The third wave? Ebola rip-off. Fourth wave? Taking over human's bodies, apparently. The fifth wave? Remains yet to be seen. 

This one girl named Cassie is the protagonist, and she doesn't really get involved in the conflict until the fourth wave when the Army starts training the kids to fight back and she and her little brother Sam are accidentally separated. On her own, she is forced to go after him, though she is joined by a mysterious stranger named Evan whose intentions are somewhat unclear. 

The 5th Wave actually has a very interesting idea, revolving around aliens wiping us out via a step-by-step process. The plot twist that reveals what the 5th wave actually is is pretty genius (even if you're able to see it coming before it's actually revealed). I'm sure the book is probably quite a bit better, but unfortunately, there's a lot of nonsense to sit through in the movie. 

For starters, the acting is quite lackluster; although that may have more to do with the script, or lack thereof. The direction, despite a couple decent set pieces and camera shots, is quite sloppy and some parts of the film don't make much sense as well (though I'm sure they're explained in the book). You're left asking random questions like, "How in the world do the soldiers get the Army vehicles and school buses working after the EMP?" and "Why would soldiers or anyone, for that matter, train kids that aren't even teenagers to go into the field, since they should still have plenty of forces otherwise?" 

The 5th Wave is a quite a mess; which is unfortunate, because it has a pretty interesting basic story/idea surrounding it. You get the feeling that this could've been a much better movie had they gotten the right people working on it. But this particular series didn't have that kind of luck, and it looks like it won't survive long enough to become an actual "series." 

Captain America: Civil War

RATING: B+

The Marvel Cinematic Universe film series has been running pretty strong for multiple movies now. Their newest objective? To take on the apparently hugely popular comic book storyline "Civil War." Which, of course, I know absolutely nothing about (since I don't read the comics). The idea still sounded pretty awesome to me. 

The Civil War is sparked due to two sides sparring over really two things: first, there's the Sokovia Accords--an attempt by the United Nations to control the Avengers after too much destruction and death during their heroics. "We need to be put in check," Tony Stark/Iron Man says, who feels guilt after the Ultron incident. Steve Rogers/Captain America on the other hand? "The safest hands are our own." 

Things get worse when Bucky Barnes (the "Winter Soldier") appears to be going rogue again, and of course Captain America wants to protect him... while Iron Man wants to bring him in. Obviously, things are only going to escalate from there. 

A couple of new heroes are introduced as well; one being Black Panther, whom I was somewhat skeptical about but who turned out to be quite awesome, actually. And I can safely say I'm ready for his movie in 2018. As for the much-anticipated Tom Holland's Spider-Man? Jury's still out. He's somewhat entertaining and is pretty good during a fight scene, but in all actuality, I've still seen too little of him to be able to make a clear decision on whether he's no joke or not. 

This movie is quite entertaining indeed, and the Russo Brothers once again establish their ability to create some brilliant fight scenes. The big fight sequence between *all* the Avengers is spectacular and is the highlight of the movie by far, but the opening fight with Crossbones and the climactic fight are pretty darn good as well. Dialogue is still quite good, giving a little bit of food for thought as well as wit. 

I think the biggest problem with this movie revolves around its choice of main antagonist. (Maybe a slight spoiler alert ahead?) We get this dude named Helmut Zemo, who is probably the weakest villain we've seen yet in the MCU. Even his motivations really aren't that interesting, as it's nothing we haven't seen before; I'd be able to look past that easily if he was at least a cool villain like Crossbones (who really should've been the main antagonist instead), or at least if he was truly despicable. But he isn't. He's just kinda... there. Without giving away much, the *true* reason the Civil War happens (Sokovia Accords aside) is a tad weak for a story that's this huge in the Marvel universe and makes me think, "Really? Couldn't we just have stuck with them fighting over being controlled by the government? That's good enough on its own!" 

That said, Civil War is still quite a fun movie to watch and it has a couple twists and turns you don't see coming. Even if I was perhaps expecting a bit more out of it (perhaps a darker turn, which I guess sort of happens but not really), it's still a good movie in its own right. Could it have been better? Yes. Is it still worth watching? Yes. It's probably not in the top half of the MCU, but considering the success of this series, that's still not saying a whole lot. 

The Martian

RATING: B-

The Martian was one of the more highly critically acclaimed movies of the year in 2015, and garnered a Best Picture nomination at the Oscars. 70% of the time, I'm actually not into movies that were nominated for Best Picture, so that's hardly an accolade in my book. That said, it still piqued my interest when it first came out into theaters and everyone said it was good, so I still figured I needed to see it. 

This movie takes place in a present-day world where NASA actually has full funding--enough to send manned missions to explore Mars for several days (since they actually have the technology to sustain themselves over there for that long). During one such expedition, the crew of the Ares III is caught in a massive dust storm and one of their members, Mark Watney (Matt Damon), is left behind thought dead. And yet he survives. 

With the Ares III long gone, he realizes he'll be there for a while and is forced to create supplies including food and water on his own while NASA tries to make a plan to get him back home. Good thing he's a botanist. "Mars will come to fear my botany powers," he declares in one of the more cheesy lines in an up-and-down screenplay that ranged from clever to awkward. 

Some of the things he does to survive make more sense than others; his production of water makes sense, for one. But at another point in the film, he is somehow able to to reboot an old Pathfinder probe that's been dead for 20 years using nothing but power cords and some other mumbo jumbo that would not work no matter how you slice it considering that it had been deactivated for two decades *and* buried under Martian sand for God knows how long. 

That's really one of the problems with this film; I am unsure whether I am expected to suspend disbelief or not, and if so, how much. There's actually some valuable survival skills in here, so at times it kind of wants to feel realistic, but other times it just says "screw it" and goes for the impossible in the midst of what they're appearing to sell as a scientific film--at least to a degree. (Heck, we could be sending manned missions to Mars for similar purposes as the ones in here decades from now, so you never know.)

That said, it's still a pretty entertaining film at times, although some parts drag on during the first half. The cast is pretty good, and the cinematography/special effects are brilliant--they do a very good job of depicting the world of Mars. The tension actually gets somewhat decent after a while as obstacle after obstacle rises, and you can't help but be riveted as the film flies to its conclusion. 

The Martian certainly isn't a bad film at all. Probably my biggest gripe about it is its inconsistency at times. And some parts drag on more than others, which do admittedly make one wonder why it had to be a 140-minute film. It's still an entertaining film that's mostly well made and keeps you interested throughout the whole thing. It's not a classic, but it's not a movie that makes you switch the channel when it comes on either. 

Mission: Impossible 5: Rogue Nation

RATING: A-

I really don't know how Mission: Impossible has managed to stay afloat *and* good for as long it has. It's been an incredibly inconsistent franchise that, aside from Ethan Hunt and Ving Rhames's character, seems to be changing all its characters and setting and stuff every movie. We have a new secretary/supervisor all the time. We have a new female lead all the time. We have a new film director with a wildly different style all the time. I mean, that first movie was more of an action thriller (and it was a darn good one); then there was whatever the heck the second one was; then there was the JJ Abrams (nothing more needs to be said) third one; and then there was the fourth one that was just a fun action movie that didn't take itself *too* seriously. 

That said, all these movies so far have been quite entertaining. (Except that second one. We're still trying to forget that one existed.) And here we have a fifth one; that, stunningly enough actually brings back the same characters from the previous installment (save for the female lead). Benji is back. Brandt is back. And Luther is back in the full role he deserves as well. The new female lead, Ilsa, is probably the most interesting one we've had thus far; she's a complex character that keeps you guessing with regards to her allegiance. 

In this fifth film, Ethan Hunt has been going after a terrorist shadow organization called the "Syndicate," which is described (at least in the trailer) as an anti-IMF. Speaking of the IMF, it's being disbanded, thanks to Alec Baldwin (the CIA director). So once again, Ethan and his guys are on their own to deal with these guys. 

Rogue Nation is actually stunningly entertaining, and much less forgettable than Ghost Protocol (even though that one was certainly still enjoyable); loaded with awesome action sequences including the "plane takeoff" scene and the motorcycle chase and a storyline that actually keeps you guessing somewhat. And having a group of returning characters we're familiar with is nice for once, as is having Luther back in a full role (maybe that's why the fourth one was less memorable, since he was only in it for two minutes). Those things said, sometimes some things feels slightly improbable, and the movie doesn't really have much of a beginning or an end. It just happens. 

*That* said, though, Rogue Nation is really a fun action/adventure movie that manages to stand above the other sequels pretty well. It doesn't have a convoluted plot, nor does it feel just silly/ridiculous at times. I still personally think the very first movie is the best, but Rogue Nation isn't all too far behind. It's definitely the best sequel in the series thus far, and that plus the fact that Christopher McQuarrie (the director) is actually returning for M:I-6 actually gives me reason to really look forward to future sequels. 

Fantastic Four (2015)

RATING: C-

Let's begin off by saying that I don't exactly know a whole lot about the Fantastic Four. I never watched the previous two movies (watching the trailer for the first one kept me away), and I pretty much only ever knew the Four's abilities--and that's essentially only because The Incredibles' powers ripped off much of the Four's. 

That said, I had always heard good things about them in the comics, so I was of course interested in seeing these guys on the screen. A promising trailer was released for the new one, and it wasn't until the reviews came flooding in that the "uh-oh" factor came in. 

We'll cut straight to the chase. This film is about as stereotypical and predictable of a superhero origin story as it gets. The only real different twist is that we see a bit more of the characters as kids and how they got to the point of the accident that changed them than usual. But it's pretty straightforward from there. Four people go to another dimension (which is a little different, I suppose), and end up coming into contact with alien energy... or something. That transforms them into new beings. And they are forced to work together when one of the guys who went with them but supposedly died comes back insane with power trying to destroy the world (Dr. Doom, of course). 

What, no spoiler alert? Well, it's not like any of that was surprising, right? And you're probably not going to watch this film anyway unless you're a massive superhero movie fan. 

Now, aside from its plot, the film has another host of problems. Due to a lot of changes during production (more on that later), the film feels awfully inconsistent at times in tone. There are some parts that actually feel somewhat intelligent, but then other parts that are either derivative or dull. The screenplay is awful; and at times it almost seems like the actors are falling asleep from having to be in this movie (and there's no chemistry between them either). Miles Teller in general is an awful choice for Mr. Fantastic--a guy who seems like he's supposed to be the intelligent leader of the group. The problem is, Teller's only good at one type of role: the jerkface arrogant role that he plays in Divergent (and even there, he's still annoying as crap). *Really* bad choice in casting there, Fox... 

Unfortunately, many of the reasons this movie falls short of the mark fall upon the chaos that happened during production. There was Josh Trank's questionable behavior during production, which led to 20th Century Fox redoing much of the movie (the finale itself wasn't even written or done by Trank) on their own. The result isn't exactly glamorous. 

So what are the redeeming factors of this movie? Well, the visuals and special effects are pretty good. Toby Kebbell does pretty well as Dr. Doom (though his powers sure are vague). And in all honesty, many would probably like it more if we hadn't already seen this type of film done over several times. If the film hadn't been so badly butchered during production, maybe that would've helped too. And really, it's not a film that is straight up horrible; it's just not very good either. 

Fantastic Four feels like a film that could've been a lot better, but it just isn't; it's one of those films that you kind of have to put an asterisk next to because of the chaos in production. It's quite sad that characters like these from superhero comics with such promise have such bad things happen to them in cinema. Maybe the third time will be the charm for them.